Finally doing something active

This girl lovesss to ponder, plan, and organize. She doesn’t like to “execute” a lot. A few years ago I took a personality quiz that graded my conscientiousness. The results spoke volumes…

Productiveness on zero 🙌

I’m learning that there’s Active time, Passive time, and Neutral time. The idea is to spend 33% of your time in each. Right now, I spend 0% in Active, 50% in Passive, and 50% in Neutral. Something has to change, something needs to be executed upon. So this newsletter is me taking a stab at the Active and actually DOING something with my plans. (and potentially tracking the journey along the way).

So here goes:

2 weeks ago, my cat baby CC passed away. For 19 years she was with me – cuddling me whenever she had the chance, in whatever way she could, and sleeping next to me under the blankets at night. She was synonymous with “home” for me – it wasn’t my room if she wasn’t there.

And it’s weird to be on the other side of it. After spending months sleeping at my parents’ house so I could be with her while she lived the last chapter of her life. Now staying at my own place, back to a routine again. That chapter simply closed. Life continuing on.

I have been isolating myself this past month… two months….three months….six months. I’m focusing on figuring my sh*t out. It’s been a helluva year (evolutionarily).

I dissociated heavy for a long time (see: most of 2023) and in January turned to acupuncture to help me. It helped, and I cried a lot. I began to feel in my body rather than just in my mind.

I completed The Artist’s Way with a friend and unearthed creativity I hadn’t felt since age 10. I began a pottery hobby and took dance classes again. I learned to nurture my creative power meaningfully and intentionally.

I renewed my interest in mysticism. Attended a Buddhist monastery, a Quaker meeting, Episcopal church service. Met with an intuitive healer, began pulling tarot cards, read The Power of Now. Sought out community for myself, and found it in the kind spirits of the people I was interacting with.

I began tracking my cycle with reverence – monitoring cervical position, tracking BBT, taking OPK tests, using cups instead of tampons/pads, and falling in love with my period (even the severe cramps, I PROMISE!). I realized the power of my womb. I read Imagine a Woman In Love With Herself, and I realized the power of being a woman. I began to honor my body rather than just my mind.

And now here we are. Studying more about business, raising my rates, hiring a coach, no longer using Reddit to validate my emotions, and starting this newsletter. Figuring out how to build something for myself, for other people. Embracing the ebb and flow. And trying not to spend too many hours editing this because that’s literally my point.

Thank you, sincerely, for being here for my first newsletter ❤️ I really appreciate that you signed up. I haven’t decided how frequent these will be, or what they will be about. Just ready to share.

Xoxo and Love, Hannah