Reigning in the scatterbrain

Typically I am scatterbrained. Restless, distracted, unfocused. It’s not something I’m proud of. It affects everything. I have tried so many systems. Some stick, some don’t, some cycle through over and over.

This year I realized that I don’t wanna look up in x months, or x years, and still be in the same place. Staying busy, staying distracted, smoking often, wasting so much time doing anything other than advancing myself as a being.

I was particularly suffering the past few months, and the mindlessness was even worse. Half-assing everything - dishes stacked next to the sink for over a week, junk all over the house, clothes on the floor, screen time for days.

I’m tired of it. In this previous post, I was doing the same thing. That was 3 months ago! When I read my journal, it’s the sameeee thingggg too.

I just read No Mud, No Lotus by Thich Nhat Hanh. He writes how we are the ones who feed our own suffering. We ruminate on it, we are taken over by our constant mental discourse. Breathing with focus unites our body and mind rather than letting our mind be swept away by our thoughts. With each breath, we invite mindfulness in, and it holds space for our suffering.

“Knowledge without understanding is imagination.” I’ve meditated off/on for 6 years now. I did it because I knew it was good for me. After I read that book, I do it now because I understand it is good for me. I feel it. The breathing does help. The breathing does bring me back to the present. The breathing does transform my suffering. I’ve hardly been scattered since. The house is (more) clean, dishes are done, and I’m not in a rush anymore. I relish each second. I can sit still. I’m in integrity with myself.

It’s so powerful, I encourage you to try.

Breathing in, I am aware that I am breathing in.

Breathing out, I am aware that I am breathing out.

: )

Love, Hannah

(PS according to online reading estimates it was actually a mindful minute and 25 seconds. forgive me…)